


Harley Keener, Flirting Extraordinaire

by spidersonas



Series: Peter Parker, Twitter Extraordinaire [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, Harley Keener is a southern boi, Homophobia, Inspired by Twitter, IronDad and SpiderSon, Irondad, Multi, Oh my god he says y’all, Parley, Peter-centric, Tony Stark WRECKS a homophobe, Twitter, angst at the end, minor homophobia, parkner, spiderson, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 21:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 85
Words: 14,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17568062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidersonas/pseuds/spidersonas
Summary: Peter Parker had 4 Twitter accounts. Do people know this? No.-OR-The Parley Twitter AU that nobody asked for.





	1. I took that picture!!1!!!1!1!!!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SmolTownFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolTownFangirl/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the rest of the chapters will not be this cringy

peter @peter_man

hey look it me

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

         Peter, delete this before anyone sees it

>>>>>> peter @peter_man

               its okay mr. stark, this acc is private. only the people who know who i am can follow me. thats why i only have like 8 followers

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        I took that picture!!1!!!1!1!!!

>>> May @mayyy_parkerrr

        Cute!!

  


peter @peter_man

(poll)should i make an official spider-man twitter

| yes                                                 | 87%

| no      | 13%

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

         I can have my PR team help you set it up

>>>>>> peter @peter_man

               its okay mr. stark, ned and i can handle it!! thank you tho


	2. SUMTHIN DUMB LIKE @spidermansnumberonefan

Katie loves spidey @spider_man

GUYS. TONY STARK JUST DM’D ME ASKING FOR MY USERNAME. THERE WERE,,,,,, A LOT OF ZEROES INVOLVED

>>> Totally Real Iron Man Quotes @quotesfromtonystark

         HOLU SIHTFDHDSLK DID U SAYY Y E S

>>>>>> Katie loves spidey @spider_man

               OBVI, NEXT TIME U SEE ME MY USERNAME IS GOING TO BE SUMTHIN DUMB LIKE @spidermansnumberonefan

>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

                     My username is not dumb, and this post is totally fake

>>> Potatoes @potatoes_are_life

        r/thathappened

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        This is true, I was the eighth zero

[show more replies]

  
  
  


Katie loves spidey @spider_man

GUYS I’M SERIOUS

[screenshot.8u34q9cj73.png]

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        OH WAIT MAYBE THIS IS TRUE

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        @peterparkerwithab come look at this

>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

               HOLy SHI- why would he do that O:

>>>>>>>>> Katie loves spidey @spider_man

                     Lmao who are yall

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment suggestions for the next chapter!


	3. *comments on own post* Lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter comments on his own post

We Stan a King @ironmanstan

Last night, @spider_mam posted an incident between her and @iamironman . He messaged the fan with an offer to buy her username, which was previously @spider_man . She has since changed it and an official account has been made, but there are no posts or bio. It has gotten over 1000 followers overnight. What do you think?

(poll)Was this what Spidey wanted?

|Yes                                                                          | 99%

|No | 1%

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

        Alright which of yall voted no cuz I didnt give up my username for spidey to NOT want it

>>>>>> Potatoes @potatoes_are_life

                Lmao sister SNAPPED

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

         i keep forgetting u have this acc, i think i know who voted no lol

>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

               WHO ARE YOU, HOW DO YOU KNOW, AND WHO WAS IT CAUSE IMMA BEAT THEIR ASS

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      Uh. forget i said anything

>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

         Lol he really didn’t

>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

               *comments on own post* Lol

>>>>>>>>> Dickolas Cage @funny_memes_lol

                      Wait does he own this account???????? What????? I have so many questio-

[show more replies]


	4. I’m not legally able to disclose that information [=

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned is really, really bad at keeping secrets

Spidey @spider_man

hey, its me, spider-man! :D

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

         Ah, look, he speaks!

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               ): thats not very nice

               [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

         OMG are you actually spiderman???

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               its spelled spider-man, with a hyphen D;

               [show more replies]

>>> i love cheese @itsaproblem

        how old r u lmao, ur either a middle aged man tryna be cool by using :D or ur like a cringy 12 y/o

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               I’m not legally able to disclose that information [=

>>>>>>>>> i love cheese @itsaproblem

                     WAIT WUT Y NOT

>>>>>>>>> Potatoes @potatoes_are_life

                     HUH? I’M CONFUSED ARE YOU SERIOUS OR NOT, CAUSE LIKE SORRY ABOUT EVERYONE ASKING ABOUT IT IF YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY

                      [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        Spider-Man!!!!! you finally got a twtter acc! i mean, you already had oyur personal but thsi is differert

>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

               THIS IS THE SECOND TIMW IVE SEEN YOU COMMENT OMINOUS THINGS, WUT DO YOU KNOW

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Dude… shut up

              [see more replies]


	5. *apologize ;D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spidey tries to feel guilty  
> Ned is still really bad at keeping secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter that i did in like five minutes (:

Spidey @spider_man

@iamironman you kno, i really appreciate the help with this acc,,,, but did you rlly have to go and buy @spider_mam ‘s???? like, i said my gitc and i could handle it lol

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Gitc??

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Guy in the chair lol

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      THSATS ME

>>>>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                             WH A T

                           [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

        DUDE. NO. THIS WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAVE HAPPENED TO ME. I LITERALLY GOT 15 GRAND. DONT TRY AND APOLIGIZE OR WHATEVER.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               *apologize ;D

>>>>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

                      Ha nerd

[show more replies]


	6. do u even lift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley?? Who's Harley?? How does he know who Spider-Man is???? Wut??????????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don't know, Harley Keener is the kid whose shed Tony broke into in Iron Man 3. In this story, Harley occasionally visits Tony and discovered Peter's identity when trying to hack into FRIDAY. Don't worry, he ain't a snitch

Spidey @spider_man

QnA time (:

>>> Notice Me @itsa_problem

         Can you sing??

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i mean i guess?? i can, i just dunno if its good tbh

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Kid, stop being modest. @itsa_problem you should hear him when he thinks nobody is home

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             DLVBJSDJKLVN MR. STARK

                             [show more replies]

>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

               He really can!!!!

               [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

        How old are you

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               uh,,,, not sure how much im allowed to say so uhhh im not old enough to be gen x

>>>>>>>>> Dickolas Cage @funny_memes_lol

                     That’s definitely not super vague at all lol

                     [show more replies]

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        Whats your sexuality, if you dont mind me asking?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

              im not really comfortable answering that, sorry:(

>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                     No problem!! Sorry if my question made you uncomfortable

                     [show more replies]

>>> Gaming Vids @MrGamingPro851

        do u even lift

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Yeah like 20 tons

              [show more replies]

>>> Gimme All Ur Money @probably_a_scam

        On a scale from 1-10 how cute r u

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               He’s like,,,,,,,,,,, a 12

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      KID. I told you to stop looking through my files.

                      [show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right after this chapter is when the next story in the 'Peter Parker, Meet Harley Keener' series will start!!


	7. O shit lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley's a dumb bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOST MY COMPUTER CHARGER BUT NOW I'M BACKdvjkb nrefiuhdcifgdjbs xchbuij vhcux ovjngbfrecxjhkge  
> yes Harley is a boi but Peter doesn't know that

We Stan a King @ironmanstan

Who is @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage and why did @iamironman reply to them? Apparently they know @spider_man ‘s secret identity. What are your thoughts?

>>> We Stan a King @ironmanstan

        Side note, please don’t harass them about it! I can and will report your account if I hear about this happening.

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

         Why’d you say they? Are they nonbinary??(Not tryna be rude, just curius, I’m part of the lgbt+ community)

>>>>>> We Stan a King @ironmanstan

               I don’t know what their gender is, and Harley is a gender neutral name so I said they just to be safe!! Misgendering can be pretty harmful to some individuals.

>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                      A TRUE ALLY

>>>>>>>>>>>> We Stan a King @ironmanstan

                             Who’s to say that I’m just an ally?(;

                             [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        O shit lmao

>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

               HWO ARE YHHOU fKHSDFm ccsdHNWFEDc pleas i needs to know

               [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        I’d like to know as well :/

>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                oooh some1s jelly

[show more replies]


	8. 10/10 would date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spider walks into a bar...  
> Harley Keener is still thirsty for Spidey.

turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

GUyS IM SCRAEMING SDKJ HJEFLO UWEIFEJKDCJKLWGEFDSXMRVDCWWKJJSDF FUGKINC @spider_man JUS WALKED INTO MCDONALDS WHYFRDNXC MTHE FUCJK

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        You’re like 12 skjsksjkskj

>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

               DDSKJFCNXdSKJH IM GOING IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU CALLED A 15 Y/O 12 AND INSGTEAD SAY WHYU NKFD ARE YOY IN MCD’S ALSO ARE YOU BLEEDINGGNG also can i get a picture

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      What? Me? Bleeding? Pshhhhhhh no way and yea sure you can have a pic,,,,,,, or like 30 i really don’t mind

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             KID. KAREN JUST TOLD ME YOU’RE BLEEDING. COME TO THE TOWER NOW

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               U have no room to be talking, u also look like ur 12 but tbh 10/10 would date

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                     I ask again, how tf do you know what i look like

[show more replies]


	9. i forgot smthn

TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

Um?? I just saw this KID walk into Stark Industries(that I may or may not have been staking out)???? Like?? He looked like he was trying to hide?????? Is this the mysterious Harley or?? 

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

       omg i dont know who harley is but thats not him

>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

        Fjsdlkcxdnlefd thats me pls dont post pictures like this without permission i rlly dont want ppl to see that, if ur curious my school just went on a field trip there and i forgot smthn they told me to come pick it up

>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

              Oh sorry, I’ll delete it

>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

              HOLDZ THE PHONE THEY DONT GIVE TOURS TO HIGH SCHOOLS(assuming thats what you are, given that your bio says your 16)(i’ll still delete the post tho, don’t worry)

[show more replies]


	10. We get it your thirsty for Spider-man whats new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley Keener is, yet again, thirsty for Spider-Man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'll end your suffering soon enough i just-

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

So funny story uh Spider-Man is really hot and uh,,,, yeah thats all i got

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Kid, if you keep saying this shit I will actually bring him in to meet you and see just how embarrassed you are

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

              If his personality is anything like the way you describe him all the time then I’m definitely not the who’s going to be embarrassed, old man.

              [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        UH

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               (;

               [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

        We get it your thirsty for Spider-man whats new, we’ve all seen your comments

>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

               Also who aRE YOU AND WHY IS TONY STARK REPLYING TO YOU AND HOW DO YHOU KNOW WHAT SPIDEY LOOKS LIKE DFNOKLCMX ANSWER ME YOU LIL BICTH

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      ;3

[show more replies]


	11. We’re c o n n e c t e d

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley Keener unironically says sis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The username @lmaosissnapped was commented by user Kathendale!

Tea @lmaosissnapped

Conspiracy theory: @spider_man actually knows who @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage is and he’s just pretending not to

>>> Spidey @spider_man

       Now why the HECK would I do that

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

       Trust me, he doesn’t. Tony won’t let me meet him in real life ):

>>>>>> Tea @lmaosissnapped

              Oh my GOD are you on a first name basis with Tony Stark or-

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                    Sis,,,,,,,,,,, I can call him whatever the hell I want. We’re c o n n e c t e d

                     [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

       he doesnt kno and wont shut up abt it

>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

             why do you talk like you actually know him cause istg if you actually do hook me UP

[show more replies]


	12. you know you love me, old man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does Tony Stark have a kid?!

We Stan a King @ironmanstan

@tonystarkbrokeintomygarage : Tony Stark’s secret child? While there isn’t enough evidence to be sure, it would certainly explain a couple of things—for example, why Iron Man keeps replying to his tweets. Or why he calls him kid.

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Trust me, he’s not my dad. (that would be scary)

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               You’re right, that would be scary. I don’t think I would be able to handle seeing him that often.

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      D; you know you love me, old man

                      [show more replies]

>>> Fan Acc @nekhs

        Stark just keeps adopting kids.

>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

               ikr?! he alraedy has spidey an all his robots and tbh all of the avengers and now theres this harley kid

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        I wouldn’t doubt it from the way he talks abt him

[show more replies]


	13. sis he's mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley, sis, you're not dating Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to make this into a series, the first fic is going to be based on Parley's growing relationship and the rest, well... We'll see.  
> Should I make an actual fic to go along with this?? Like, where Peter and Harley meet?? An actual story instead of just tweets????

TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

Hey @peterparkerwithab are you single

>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

        Uhhhhhh yes?? Wha?? Why????????

>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

               Do you want to go out with me

>>>>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

                      Uhhhsadhkjbcxnmdrehfudciof nthgfd i can’t, sorry,,,,,,,,, i’m like really busy with school and work and stuff

>>>>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

                             Oh okay that’s chill

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        ew, why would you want to date Parker

>>>>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

               Cause he’s fucking hot thats why

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               I will not hesitate to fuck you up

[show more replies]


	14. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley Keener, apparently, has blackmail material on Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abby is Harley's sister  
> AYYYYY 420 KUDOS

Tony Stark @iamironman

I hate to do this but… @spider_man , can you please come to the tower after patrol? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        I dont like the sound of that, is it,,,,,,,, is it HIM???

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               you know it ;)

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      oh no

                      [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        FUCK YEAH OLD MAN, THATS WHAT YOU GET!! As a side note, it was a really bad idea to upload those pictures to FRIDAY’s database. This is really all your fault for leaving them where I could get them. Blackmail material for d a y s

>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

               holy- did you blackmail mr. stark?!!!?!1?!!?k1hu o4revfdjkmejeier oh my god

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               What would Cap say about your language, kid?

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      i learned it from you, i hope you realize. mama refuses to swear around abby and abby refuses to leave me alone sooooooo really the only place i could pick swearing up from is the you :/

                      [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK DM’D ME @spider_mam

        OH MY GOD ARE THEY GOINNG TO MEET IM GONNA SCREAM S H I P

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Why do you still have that as your name, it’s been months since that happened

>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

                      Better? :)

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             ...No

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOH we're getting pretty close to them meeting o)_o)  
> GUYs I NEED HELP, WHAT SHOULD BE THE NAME OF THE PARLEY SERIES. This fic is going to be the start of 2 series, a twitter one and a parley one. The Twitter series is called 'Peter Parker, Twitter Extraordinaire', but I don't have a title for the Parley one. Any suggestions??


	15. Alright gays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is kinda scared to meet Harley, ngl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just read a Stucky soulmate fanfic and ngl I really want to write a bunch of Parley soulmate AUs now

Spidey @spider_man

Alright gays I just got off of patrol and I’m heading to the tower, someone start screaming so I have an excuse not to go

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        I meant guys, not gays, but that works too

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        How are you typing that?? Cause it doesnt look liek the gloves in your suit are separate so unless theyre one of those fabrics that you can type thru, you would have to take off your suit to type it.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               I have an AI named Karen in the suit that I can tell to tweet or send messages for me. Her audio receiver got a bit jacked up when my friend was messing with the suit so that’s why it says gays instead of guys

               [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        omg i cant believe youre finally going to meet harley

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Don’t remind me

               [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        nobody can save u now (;<

[show more replies]


	16. Homophobia ain't cute, sis. Thank u, next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man is a bisexual disaster who can't handle hot boys looking in his general direction.  
> Also, Tony Stark can't stand homophobic pieces of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: homophobia  
> I meant to save this chapter to post tomorrow but I REALLY wanted to post it right now

Spidey @spider_man

fuck

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        what happened, spill the tea sis

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               he’s h o t

>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

                      Oh my god what did you do

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             Hold up imma make another tweet abt it

[show more replies]

  
  


Spidey @spider_man

////THREAD\\\\\\\ Okay so I swing in thru the window like i always do, right?? And i KNOW he’s gonna be in there cause im not a dumbass but i still wasnt prepared. he and mr. stark were in mr. stark’s personal lab and so i look through the lil window thingy before going in and i can only see his back(1/?)

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        Oh my god i can already tell he’s ugly, i’m so much better than him for u

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               hi um what the fuck go away hes hot

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(2/?) and im sitting there in the hallway with my mask off cause mr. stark told me that he already knows who i am and nobody else is allowed on those floors so they wont see me uh ANYWAys i was there tryna see who this kid is

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        Omg i want to see where this goes

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(3/4) then he fucking turns around and looks straight(haha unlike me) at me and i am FLOORED by how hot this boi is. i was legit just frozen there. but then he gets this cocky lil smirk and does that half nod thing thats so cliche but it GETS TO ME

>>> Dickolas Cage @funny_memes_lol

        ew, ur gay?? u just lost a fucking follower. sjw liberal piece of shit. u shouldnt be allowed to be a superhero. id rather be killed by a mugger than let u save me. u would probably try and feel me up or some shit. 

>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

               Homophobia ain’t cute, sis. Thank u, next

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Don’t expect ANY superhero to save you. You’ll be hearing from my legal team. NOBODY talks to my kid like that.

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(4/4) and so i can hear him tell mr. stark that im here cause of my superhearing and they both start walking towards the door so i panick and jump on the ceiling and hide behind a vent. anyways, thats where i am now. someone save me

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        Sdffjdlkjkfds you gay disaster i’m screaming

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

              *bisexual (:

>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

                      oh gucci, we support you boo

[show more replies]


	17. ...sis. look up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katie, AKA @spider_mam, is really bad at keeping secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter of the second fic in the Parley series is up!! You can go ahead and read that even though I'm not done with this one, only the last chapter of that one really relies on something I haven't posted here yet.

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Okay so I just saw spidey looking at us through the window to the lab and i was going to go say hi but now he’s gone??? I’m like really confused does he have invisible powers i don’t know about or-

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        …sis. look up.

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

              oh my god he’s hiding above an air duct i can see his foot

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                    fuck

[show more replies]

  
  


Spidey @spider_man

@spider_mam i literally hacked the system so he couldn’t see those tweets and you tOLD HIM? I feel betrayed

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        Sorry but its not my fault that you need someone to help y’all get together also SIS YOU CAN HACK TWITTER

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

              you’re lucky that i’m too busy hiding in an airvent to track your phone or- and yea its not that hard to hack it took me like thirty seconds

>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

                    I’m astounded by your brilliance

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I NEED HELP  
> So I'm almost done with this fic(there's gonna be like 20 chapters or something) and there's going to be an OC in the title of the next one and it's gonna be Katie(@spider_mam) but I need a last name for her, so uh,,, last name suggestions please??(don't worry the fic is still Peter-centric)


	18. threatening me with peppermint essential oils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spiders are repelled by peppermint.

Tony Stark @iamironman

I had to make Harley go away to get Spidey to come out. Harley is now pouting in Pepper’s office. While he isn’t hiding anymore, he refuses to get off the ceiling. He is also pouting.(Kid, please come down. I swear, Harley’s gone)

>>> Pepper @pottspepper

        Why would you send Harley to me? I have a job to do, you know—being the CEO of YOUR company.

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               You really like bringing that up, don’t you? You’re better at dealing with pouting children than me.

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      1. i’m not pouting and 2. i’m not a child

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             1. Yeah you are. 2. Yeah you are.

                           [show more replies]

>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

        Jfsdlkjsfd why did you write that note to Spidey on your tweet(also, is there something OTHER than Spidey us non-name-knowers can call him bye, cause calling him Spidey gets a little weird after a while)

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               He refuses to look at his texts but I know for a fact that he’s scrolling on Twitter right now. And no, there isn’t. Also, kid, please, I’m begging you, change your name to something without my name in it.

>>>>>>>>> TONY STARK REPLIED TO MY COMMENT @spider_mam

                      Fine, I’ll do it later /:

[show more replies]

  
  


#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

yo @spider_man get down from the ceiling, also do you like my new name?? ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        Okay, but only because you asked nicely. and because mr. stark is threatening me with peppermint essential oils. your username makes me want to curl up in a ball and die like a spider- oh wAIT

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided her name is Katie Kent, like Superman(no relation)! Thank you to everyone who suggested a name!!


	19. shut up you’re not helping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katie isn't helping.

Spidey @spider_man

ohgodohgodohgodohgod im waiting in the living room for mr. stark to get harlye im going to die

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Go get him tiger

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Hhhh shut up you’re not helping

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Well i mean he kind of already claimed me as his but that was like a couple weeks ago before we met(which still hasnt happened lmao) and i denied it sooo

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      HOLD UP WH AT

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_mam

                             Djlfsd oh yeah that happened on my personal acc

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    oho? pls, sir, if u’d be so kind as to tell me wot that account would be?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                           nice try, no

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

         awww ship

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter interaction mentioned in the chapter isn't part of the story because it was really obvious that peter was spider-man when i wrote it(previously part of chapter 13) so i'll leave that up to your imagination


	20. Oh my god he says y’all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They spoke about three words before going straight to their phones.

Spidey @spider_man

Oh my god he says y’all

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        WE STAN A SOUTHERN BOI

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        wait does he have an accent cause there are olny 2 types of people who say y’all- country kids and the Gays

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Thats our new band name

               [show more replies]

>>> Fan Acc @nekhs

        Are you guys still talking or??

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               O yea, we’re just sitting on opposite ends of the couch tweeting

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      there’s a lot of tension—you know what kind

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             if you dont shut up right now i will forcefully evacuate you from this building

                             [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        oh my god what happende

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Ugh now i have to make ANOTHER tweet thread about this kid. i hate him already

[show more replies]


	21. sis you like him but go off i guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope. Spidey does not like him. At all. He's just hot. That's completely objective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and I might miss my Valentine's Day school dance I might actually scream  
> Apparently crying brings out the Asian in my eyes

Spidey @spider_man

(1/?) so theRE I WAS, sitting on the couch and resisting hiding cause fight or flight lmao but i knew mr. stark would see through one of friday’s cameras that i moved so i couldn’t do that. im waiting for mr. stark to come back with harley and at that point i had already changed out of my suit but i realllly wanted to put my mask back on

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Okay but what clothes did you change into

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               uh?? what kinda question- that was a really random thing to ask

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(2/?) i hear the door open and i start freaking out like any sane person cause a) this kid knows my identity b) he litereally wont stop internet flirting with me and c) he’s r e a l l y   h o t

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        dfjlfsdjkl you are literally so gay for him i stg if yall dont kiss imma throw hands

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i never said i liked him, just that he was hot. that is an objective statement

>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                      sis you like him but go off i guess

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(3/?) then the slidy door thingy whooses open and i try and hide my face but there was no need!! he walked right past me and sat down on the other end of the couch while still talking to mr. stark and istg he says yall every other word

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Wait so he didnt talk to you?? Huh???????

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               im gETTING TO THAT PART ODFJSKBSHVD stop harassing meob djncmfbdvckjnmfdvlobfrenmfvm cdnio

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

(4/4)then mr. stark leaves after like 30 seconds and im just staring at my phone and thEN he turns to me, looks me up and down like a mannequin at Old Navy, and sAYS “you’re cute” and then goes back to his phone. that brings us to where we are now

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Oh my fucKING GOD HE SAID YOURE CUTE IM GONNA SCREAM SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               please no,,,,,,,,,,,,

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        where’s the lie

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               omfg die

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      sis necrophilia is nasty

[show more replies]

 

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

for those of you interested,,, his face is very red right now. i think i broke him

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        stfu

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               do you use anything other than acronyms to convey your thoughts

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      occasionally. 

[show more replies]


	22. hes gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley had to leave. As much as he regrets saying this, Peter's kinda disappointed. After all, it's only been five minutes.

Spidey @spider_man

hes gone

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ???????? what??? Its been like 5 minutes

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               he said he had to get back home cause he doesnt live around here and it takes a while to get back and then he w i n k e d before leaving

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      hE WINKED IM SCREAMING, and really?? he has to leave that soon?? yall just met

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             i know, kinda disappointing tbh

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                    don’t worry, i’ll be back next weekend ;)

                                    [show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

he literally took one of mr. stark’s private jets no fair im not allowed to do that

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        HE HASA OPRIVATe JET??!?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               hes literally a billionaire?? i- 

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      okay i know but i thouhgt he was suposed to be super chill abt it tho?? like isn;t he pretty lowkey

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             trust me, he flaunts it all the time.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    get off my tweet

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                           i love it when you talk like that ;)

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayokayokay I THINK I have the premise for the next story in the Twitter fic series.  
> "Katie (last name), Detective Extraordinaire  
> Twitter user @spider_mam, AKA high schooler Katie (last name), has her notifications on. Every time Spider-Man tweets something, she’ll know.  
> So, of course, if anyone was to find out Spider-Man’s identity, it would be her."  
> Excited or no?


	23. I’m. wounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley will be returning.

Spidey @spider_man

Mr. stark has just informed me that HE will be back next weekend which i already knew but somehow it feels different coming from mr. stark

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        …I literally replied to your tweet about it how does it ‘feel different’ when Tony’s saying it???????????????

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               cause i trust mr. stark.

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      I’m. wounded

                      [show more replies]

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        hey uh spidey truth or dare

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Uhm? dare ig??

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Actually fucking talk to him this time

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             D:

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Don’t swear, hes pure. I, however, plan on fixing that (:

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!! I have narrowed down a list of all the possible last names for Katie!!  
> Kennedy  
> Kent  
> King  
> Carter  
> Clark  
> Campbell  
> Coleman  
> Cassidy  
> Opinions?  
> If you want to see more about her I'm going to start posting about her on my insta story @spidersonas later  
> I think I have a couple other fics in this series lined up, like 'Tony Stark, Parenting Extraordinaire' and 'Anonymous, Interning Extraordinaire'. If you have any suggestions for fics lmk!!(All of them will be connected so Parley is still going to be happening throughout the entire series)


	24. Jesus christ what kind of friends do you have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret identities are for losers.

Spidey @spider_man

Oh my gOD HES IN MY SCHOOL WHY IS HE IN MY SCHOOL

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        whaT (also high school or college??)

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               uhh high school and he literally just walked into the cafeteria and sat down at the table next to mine. i heard a teacher ask him who tf he was and he just said “I’m new to this school” and they left him alone but i know for a FACT that he is not a new student because my bff just checked the school records and theres nothing ab a kid named harley

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      He just checked the school records?? JUST?? Jesus christ what kind of friends do you have

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             uhm hes just a really good hacker ig, last year he hacked the suit mr. stark made for me so a crappy school firewall isnt really that big of a deal

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    where can i get a friend like that dflkfdslkjsd

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on Katie:  
> -Whitest of all white girls(Starbucks, high ponytail, those checkerboard vans, etc)  
> -Bisexual  
> -Wears a lot of flannel  
> -Really pretty, if she wasn't a fictional character that I created I would date her  
> -Lives in Brooklyn  
> -Long light brown hair  
> -Freckles  
> -Pretty popular  
> (don't worry my oc's aren't all this boring)


	25. You’re just jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flash Thompson is an asshole and Harley isn't here for it.

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Sis i just walked into spidey’s school and he’s kinda just avoiding looking at me, it’s really funny

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        If anything, he should be coming to my school

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               no

>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

                      OMG you replied!! Thank you!!!!!!!!! I go to Midtown High in Forest Hills, you should come visit sometime!!!! You borrowed my car one time!! ily

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Get off my post you dumb fuck

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

                                    You’re just jealous that he replied to my comment and not yours. Get over it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                           Uh- okay, sis.

                                           [show more replies]

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        okay but has nobody else looked at twitter and connected the dots?? Like if i saw a guy walk into the lunchroom that i didn’t know i would check twitter to see if any of my friends posted about it

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Apparently everyone here is super unobservant, tony doesn’t understand how only 2 people there know who he is

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the best part is that katie liTERALLY GOES TO HIS FUCKING SCHOOL but she has a different lunch period so


	26. that’s why he wrecked your car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's pissed.

Spidey @spider_man

update: he did that weird slide thing down the bench and now hes sitting across from me. hes staring at me. i dont like it.

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        Really?! There’s a new kid at my school doing that to one of the biggest losers here!! I’m sure that you’re much more pleasant to look at than him.

>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

               literally fuck off flash

>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

                      Admit it Parker, you’re just jealous that he likes me more than your lame ass.

>>>>>>>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

                             Yeah, cause that’s why he wrecked your car

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                    OOOOH ROASTED

                                    [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Talkkkkkkkkkkk tooooooo meeeeeeeeeeeee

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               nah

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Whyyyyyy notttttttt

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             cause you invaded my privacy, like, a crap ton of times. stop.

[show more replies]

 

Spidey @spider_man

he left.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ??? What happened??

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               if you didn’t see our tweets from earlier, i told him to leave me alone cause i was kinda pissed that he had the nerve to a) break into mr. stark’s database just to uncover my identity and b) come to my SCHOOL without asking or even tweeting something at me.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      oh, jeez. 

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i'm tired  
> What do yOu think will happen?? lmao


	27. favorite enemies-to-(hopefully)lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's kinda pissed but still pretty gay. Thank God only one person knows about his fan account!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter wasn't even that angsty lmao y'all are on some shit

Tony Stark @iamironman

@spider_man Why is Harley pouting in the lab?

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        I’m not pouting.

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Yeah, okay, sure.

               [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        Cause he’s annoying that’s why

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Come on. What happened?

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      do you have the name of my school in your info?

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             Kid, I’m sorry, I told him not to go snooping through my files.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    i dont think hes very good at listening :/

[show more replies]

 

We Stan a King @ironmanstan

Harley, aka @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage , and Spider-Man have seemed to have had a sort of falling out—if they even had anything to fall out of to begin with. Where will our favorite enemies-to-(hopefully)lovers go next?

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        LJKVJDVNKL PEHTRER WTFFDSJNCMV DO YUO SCTUAGJLY WANT TO GEHGT BGiwITH HIKM MN

>>>>>> We Stan a King @ironmanstan

               You can shut up now

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      srry i maent to text u that!!!!!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                             WHHJY DO YOOU KEEP SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT ITS SO OMINIOUS ITS liKE YOU PERSONALY KNOW EVERY BIG ACC RELATED TIO SPPIDERMAN(includeing spider-man himself!?!??)  
                            [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Sorry sis that aint happening

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

               i’m literally sobbing why did you have to go to his school it WOULD be happening.right.now! if you weren’t a dumb idiot head

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how happy seeing that I got a comment makes me? Like, my heart fills with joy. The shine in my eyes takes the shape of a star. I can hear angels sing.  
> Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that you should comment and give kudos,, maybe share the link with a couple friends (:  
> ALSO! GOOD NEWS! I know what my goal in life is!! Its to become the #1 Parley fanfiction writer on here. try me. Give me a fic suggestion and I'll write it(eventually). I'm planning on doing a 'Dear diary' series plus a crap ton of random soulmate AUs.


	28. you’ll trust him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter DM's Mr. Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to format

**> >>DM: @peterparkerwithab to @iamironman<<<**

 

**THERE’S A BEE??**

who even is he? how did he access

your files in the first place?

**Tony Stark**

Mandarin. Take a closer look 

at his username.

**THERE’S A BEE??**

THAT WAS HIM????

i thought he was supposed to be 

super smart or smthn. the boy i met

definitely isnt.

**Tony Stark**

Yeah, it’s him. 

He’s a brilliant kid, he’s just

not that good at picking up

social cues.

Give him a chance, kid.

**THERE’S A BEE??**

i just cant stand that some random 

kid knows my identity. who knows 

what hell do with it

**Tony Stark**

I trust him. 

He won’t reveal your identity.

**THERE’S A BEE??**

thats the thing. YOU trust him, but 

ive only met him twice and hes said 

a total of like two words

**Tony Stark**

Sorry, kid. I don’t know what

to tell you. Try and talk to him.

Maybe if you get to know him

you’ll trust him.


	29. I'm worried too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can be angsty too!

#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

GUYS okay I did a little research since neither of them(Harley and Spidey) have been tweeting recently and apparently Spider-Man hasn’t been seen in the past two weeks?? um??? @iamironman got anything to say about that??????????? @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage @spider_man

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Leave them alone please. It’s their personal business and something you should not be investigating. We all know what happened the last time someone tried that.

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

               I DIDN’T ACTUALLY EXPECT YOU TO REPLY UM sorry about that, i’ll leave them alone, i was just worried cause they both seem like really good people and i don’t want them to get hurt or something

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      It’s fine. I’m worried too.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to me  
> I had happy bday sung to me in 3 different languages today lmao


	30. I just saw him!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking news: Spider-Man spotted for the first time in two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jamie is one of my other OCs!!  
> -Friends with Katie  
> -Latina  
> -Bilingual  
> -Lives in Brooklyn but visits Queens to see her mom, who is in the hospital  
> -Really curly hair  
> -Wears mostly polos/sweater combos and khakis  
> -Mom Friend™  
> -Straight A student  
> -Studies a lot to keep up grades

♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_  
@spider_mam KATIE KATIE KATIE K A T I E K A T E L Y N N guess what  
>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam  
        how did you,,,, find my,,,,,, fan account,,,,,,,, what the fuck jamison  
>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_  
                i have my ways, any ways, guess what, it has to do with one of your recent tweets  
>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam  
                      ??? The one that was basically quoting one of our conversations but making it an incorrect Avengers textpost????  
>>>>>>>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_  
                             No idiota, the one about spiderman. I just saw him!! I don’t think he was actually patrolling but he was just sitting on a roof  
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam  
                                    SDJFVcxKBUROIHDSVKN WH AT I LITERALLY LOVE YOU JAMIE THANK YOU FOR TELLING MERnvs vnsKNISDomk  
[show more replies]

 

#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam  
Update guys!! One of my friends spotted Spidey sitting on a roof. Probably not patrolling, she says, just sitting there. Anyone else see him around??  
>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab  
        nope, sorry /:  
>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan  
        I thought I saw him a couple days ago, but he ran away as soon as he saw me waving, so it probably wasn’t really him, just some cosplayer.  
>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam  
　　　　　 i wOndEr wHy  
>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan  
                      What’s that supposed to mean?  
[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a science project due yesterday and I actually finished on time!!(please someone ask me what it is I'm dying to tell someone)  
> I'm starting a new Parley series soon!! Don't worry, I'll still be updating this one at least once a day, but I'm really excited about the new one. The first chapter will probably be up in a few days but no promises!! We're just going to ignore that infinity war ever happened in both this fic and that one.


	31. N O   M R .   S T A R K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For once, everyone agrees with Flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't know, the Daily Bugle is the main news station of Spider-Man's NYC.

Daily Bugle @nycthedailybugle

News Today: Crime rates in Queens have dramatically increased since Spider-Man’s disappearance. Has the red-and-blue vigilante turned in his ‘hero’ status for something a little more sinister? Click the link below to find out more.

>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

        wha- how did u even come to that conclusion

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

              I hate how you used ‘u’ and a word like ‘conclusion’ in the same sentence but also I AGREE

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

       He would never do something like that!    


>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

       no!!! he wouldnt do htat!!!!1! i bet he just doesnt feel patroling rn cuz of all the harley stuf!

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

       I hope you realize I could sue you for so many things if you ever try and call out my kid again. 

>>>>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

              N O   M R .   S T A R K

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter of 'Dear Diary, Today I Met a Boy' is up! Go check it out!!


	32. im ready 4 this!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a motherfucking rebel.

Spidey @spider_man

Hey guys, i’m back!! i’m going patrolling tonight so wish me luck

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        im ready 4 this!!

>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

        Why’d you stop patrolling for a little while?? Or Tweeting, for that matter. Not trying to me rude, but it seems a little overdramtic to do that over Harley whatshisface. Like, you hardly new him

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i went through a little rebellious phase where i didn’t reply to any of mr. stark’s calls cause i was upset he didn’t a) tell me abt harley and b) he let a kid get into his files and find out abt me. well, i mean, he told me abt harley, but he didnt say any specific names. anyways, he took away my suit and my aunt refused to let me go patrolling without it

>>>>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

                      Oh, okay!! I’m glad you’re back even tho I don’t live in Queens d:

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just posted a doodle of Jamie from last chapter on @ middle_school_doodles on Insta!!


	33. alright @iamironman , EXPLAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3rd encounter closing in.

Spidey @spider_man

alright @iamironman , EXPLAIN

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Explain what?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Don’t act like you don’t know. Explain why theres a freaking seventeen y/o WITHOUT SUPERPOWERS standing on a roof and waving at me

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Please tell me that’s not Harley you’re talking about.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             …who else would it be

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                                    Sorry, I told him not to bother you and he usually listens to me to some extent. I’ll come get him. Pulling up your location now.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                           dont bother, i’ll get him back to the tower

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                                                  You sure?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                                         yeah.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that Katie's last name, Coleman, is also Zendaya's last name. huh.  
> I had a GREAT idea for a fic yesterday but then I forgot and it's really upsetting because I was like "Oh, I don't need to write this down, I'll remember it!" and now I don't


	34. literally just shut up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark can shut the fuck up.

#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

@spider_man you’ve gone like 10 minutes without tweeting you good bro??

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        uhmm yeah im gucci, im talking to harley on a roof

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

               WH AT

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      oh yeah i’ll make a tweet about it later, go away hes actually really nice

>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                             shipshipshIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSH I P S H I P S H I P

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    literally just shut up

                                    [show more replies]

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        He’s fine, probably just making out with Harley on a roof.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               MR. STARK N O WHAT THE HECC DBSKN FNJGBKROI

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or is Peter x Spider-Man a really cute ship?? Like, as a crack ship, of course. People see how much Peter and Ned talk about Spidey, and then they start to notice how flustered Spider-Man gets when they mention Peter. Soon, the media explodes with edited photos of Spidey swinging across Queens with Peter in his arms. Tony gets a good laugh out of that one.


	35. oh snap its the dad voice GOODNIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @peter_man is Peter's private account where he talks about being Spidey!!  
> The people who follow that account:  
> May  
> Ned  
> Stark  
> Banner  
> MJ  
> Pepper  
> Miles(not Spider-Man, just a 14 year old who found out his identity. they're friends now)

peter @peter_man

okay so I know I said I couldn’t stand him but honestly he’s pretty nice, were going to go get coffee or smthn next weekend when he comes back up from tennessee

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Kid, why are you tweeting this at one in the morning, you should be asleep

>>>>>> peter @peter_man

               uhm well,,,,, you see,,,,,, harleybroughtcoffeeandnowimhypeduponcaffeine 

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Go to sleep.

>>>>>>>>>>>> peter @peter_man

                             oh snap its the dad voice GOODNIGHT

                             [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        okay cool but y r u posting on this acc instead of ur spidey one

>>>>>> peter @peter_man

               so that people don’t figure out my identity?? duh

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      no1 knos wut harley looks like so theyll just think its a couple of teens messin around. + u could always wear the suit

>>>>>>>>>>>> peter @peter_man

                             oh shit you right

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post yesterday!! I was kinda really super duper busy  
> One month anniversary of this fic!!


	36. #disappointed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, it is not a date, no matter what Harley says. Ignore him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. Sorry I died? I felt u n i n s p i r e d. Anyways, I'm prolly gonna post a shit ton over the weekend

#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

Okay, i’m really looking forward to an update rn. @spider_man what happened last night?? You haven’t posted anything since then!!

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        oh yea lol, i meant to tweet smthn on here buuuuut i fell asleep. sry abt that!! anyways, next weekend we’re going for coffee or smthn

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

               JFKDSVBJ WHA T LIKE A- LIKE A DATEE?? HHDSFCN FOED SPIDEY PLEASE GIVE MORE MORE INFO

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Yes, exactly like a date (:

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      NO, NOTHING LIKE A DATE. JUST TWO POTENTIAL F R I E N D S GETTING TOGETHER AND TALKING

>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                             Oh? “Getting together”? And potential “friends”? I’m pretty sure theres the POTENTIAL for a little more than that😏

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    That is NOT what I meant and you KNOW IT.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                          #disappointed


	37. SAY YES TO A DATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mixed signals.

We Stan a King @ironmanstan

This just in: is our favorite spider finally going on a date with the mysterious Harley?!?? They agreed to coffee four days ago, on Saturday, when Harley approached Spidey during his patrol on a ROOF. The meeting will be on Sunday at an unknown coffee shop, supposedly in Queens or near that area. Spidey is adamant about the fact that it’s not a date, but fans aren’t so sure.

(poll)You decide:

|It’s a date!                                                       | 64%

|They’re just friends.       | 36%

>>> Swoooosh @spidermanwoosh

        when did they say it was going to be on saturday??(oh and i totally voted yes uwu!!)

>>>>>> We Stan a King @ironmanstan

               Oh uhhh, I just kind of assumed you know?? Cause they said that Harley lives pretty far away and if he stays the whole weekend he’d have to leave on Sunday which doesn’t leave any time on Sunday for their meeting heheh

>>>>>>>>> Swoooosh @spidermanwoosh

                      oh, that makes sense uwu

                      [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        GUYS. ITS NOT A DATE. jesus

>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

               ur sending v mixd signals here my dude

               [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Yeah, no, it’s definitely a date (:

>>>>>> Harley is bae @spxderley_

               AHHHH MY SHIP IS CANON I’M SO HAPPY

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      sis no it’s not, and @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage it is NOT a date and if you keep pushing that you may never get an actual date, at least not from me

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             YO ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT THERE IS A CHANCE THAT I WILL GET YOU TO SAY YES TO A DATE

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    what? no. no im not. stop reading into things. 

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmm... where's katie? I dunno... See more of her in the next fic in the series, which will start as soon as I finish this one!


	38. I HAD TO HELP HIM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are ya ready kids?

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Umm?? He’s literally not here? Sis you really ghosted huh @spider_man

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        IM SORRY THERE WAS THIS KID WHO COULDNT FIND HIS MOM I HAD TO HELP HIM, ILL BE THERE IN LIKE 10 MIN

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               ...are you ltierally coming in your spidey suit

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      okay, no, i am NOT, i dont need webs to help a kid find him mom

>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                             Oh? Whats this? Your not going in your suit? You do realize that literally anyone could see you right???

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    its not like anyone knos what harley looks like lmao its fine

[show more replies]


	39. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfkfucfcukfuckfckfucjfuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has... an identity crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Hamilton for the first time on saturday and now I'm listening on repeat so expect references in coming chapters, because I've decided that Harley and Peter are musical kids

Spidey @spider_man

Okay guys quick question since we’re at a disagreement here,

(poll)Is a potato gun a real thing?

|yes                                                       | 54%

|no                                                    | 46%

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        It is!! Ask Tony! I’ve shot him with one at LEAST fifty times

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               first of all, fine, ill ask him abt it later, secondly, if it is a real thing, whY DID YOU SHOOT MR STARK W IT, and last but NOT least why the hECK did you have to tweet that, youre literally sitting right across from me??

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      I had to let the whole world know that its a real thing and that I created and own several models

                      [show more replies]

>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

        HOLY FUCK THATS YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT POTATO GUNS IN THE CORNER BOOTH

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Fuckfuckfuckfuckfkfucfcukfuckfckfucjfuck @iamironman help identity crisis

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Kid. You are REALLY bad at keeping your identity a secret. Don’t worry, I’ll deal with it.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oho? Me? Setting up part of the plot of the next story while still nowhere near the end of this story? No way


	40. Wat the fuck is “Oh no”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker, Actual Child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhh!! Capt Marvel!! Comes out!!! This!!! Af!!! Ter!!! Noon!!! And I!!! Can't!!!! Go!!! See!!!! IT!!!!!

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

@iamironman help he found a lost puppy

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Oh no

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Um???? Wat the fuck is “Oh no”????

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      You’re on your own for this one, kid. I’ve already dealt with this exact situation a total of 34 times. I asked FRIDAY to keep count.

                      [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        haha you cant find me

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Bitch you’re literally just sitting behind a dumpster, I can see the dogs tail

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      im,,,,,,,,,,,, shook

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Okay now gET UP

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    but puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                                  Oh my GOD FINE I’m sure Abby would love a puppy, I’ll keep it

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                                                         That is literally the worst idea you’ve ever had and I’ve seen you down a can of whipped cream in less than a minute.

[show more replies]


	41. God help me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PUPPY!! (Comment name suggestions to use next chapter!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't been posting!! I almost died Friday so yeah!!  
> I went to see Captain Marvel yesterday, it's my new favorite Marvel movie

Tony Stark @iamironman

God help me. I’ve been locked out of my own lab.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ADFNS WHAT?? Was it harley and spidey???

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Obviously. Pepper is away on a business trip, and she’s the only one who can get them to do anything. Spidey used to listen to me(sometimes). Harley is a bad influence.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      I don’t even- Honestly? Your gonna die

                      [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        dont worry mr. stark!! we wont wreck the lab!! i told you, were just making something for the dog and we,,,,,,, uh,,,,,,, dontwantyoutotryandmakeitsuperadvanced

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Honestly kid, I’m offended that you would think I would do that. You’re totally right, by the way.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment name suggestions for the puppy that I can use next chapter!!


	42. We need to name the puppy!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been CALLED OUT

Spidey @spider_man

We need to name the puppy!! We’re not sure if it’s a boy or a girl cause it’s super young and none of us are veterinarians(we’re going to the vet tomorrow) so uhhhhh here’s a picture!!(Ms. Potts made us do a photoshoot as soon as we brought it to the tower and gave it a bath!!)

****> >> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Awww!! Your first kid!!(I’m sorry I had to) If its a girl you could name it Maria, Sandwich, Tessa, Raspberry, Callie, Holly, or Mackie!!

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        name it karen (:

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Uh, no. Lol

>>> Shibuunu @shibuunu

        Dude it’s so cute, if it’s a boy name it Duke :>

>>> Supernatural<3<3<3 @charliebradburyismyspiritanimal

        Awww Tessa like @spider_mam said is a really cute name, or Chewie or R2D2 or BB-8

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               H o w d i d y o u k n o w I l i k e d S t a r W a r s

>>>>>>>>> Supernatural<3<3<3 @charliebradburyismyspiritanimal

                      I d i d n ‘ t

>>> Jack @jackson_overland_frost

        Name the puppy Oppy! (Opportunity :P)

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               isnt that the name of that rover on mars??

>>>>>>>>> Jack @jackson_overland_frost

                      Yeah lol I’m a science nerd :P

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             Same!!

                             [show more replies]

>>> Bumbly @bumblebeeee

        Chewie, Huckleberry, Tony Jr, Bailey, Apollo, Tommy, Sammie, Lilly, Maya, Sunny, Luna, Luca, Barrel, Lucas, Yoda, Mavis, Tavi, Jet, Pheonix, or Phoebe, just to name a few!!  (I actually had to look some of thise up)

>>> Jared, 19 @agent_up

        How about Bumble orTesla? Also, I like @Jackson_Overland_Frost ,s idea with Oppy!!! That’d be so cute!

>>> Mag @verbummallum

        Name the puppy Robert

>>>>>> Mag @verbummallum

               Actually @jackson_overland_frost's is better

>>> Alina @blushingrojas

        Name the puppy Spiderloaf!

>>> N&J @cherophobia78

        Sandwhich maybe??

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment which one is your favorite and we'll narrow it down!! The pup is prolly going to be a girl(I think lol I don't even know yet) soooooo yeah  
> A note on Oppy: This takes place before Infinity War so obviously Oppy hasn't died yet


	43. Elena @spidersonas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a girl!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Me? And my internet wife? Making a cameo in my own story? No way  
> MAKE SURE YOU READ THE END NOTES

Spidey @spider_man

we let harleys sister choose the name out of all of your suggestions!! and the winner is……… oppy! short for opportunity. creds to @jackson_overland_frost for the name(:

>>> Jack @jackson_overland_frost 

        Omg I’m screaming I can’t believe you even saw that!!!   
>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               dude, its a great name! thanks for suggesting it!

               [show more replies]

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Ohhhh so THATS who the abby that harley was talking aboutin his tweet is..,

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        awwww not karen???/? D:

>>> El’s Babe @chloeandsam89

        Wait is it a boy or a girl?

>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

               Uhhh I think Opportunity would be a girls name but idk, lemme just- @spider_man @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage ALRIGHT BITCHES IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Its a girl

>>>>>>>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

                             Huh, I wasn’t actually expecting a response but cool!(I’m internally screaming, I can’t believe you responded dfsljdfjlkdsf)

                             [show more replies]

>>> ARGH @sad_bisexual_mess

        OPPY!!!!!!! Thats a great name!!

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the deal!!!  
> Every chapter I'm going to choose a random commentor(is that a real word?) and include them in the next chapter!!  
> You don't have to say "Pick me!!1!" or whatever, just comment literally anything.


	44. Hrly rspndd t my cmmnt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet and greet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lcdvfnbgoipjo fdckmshootme  
> I made another appearance!! uwu

Spidey @spider_man

alirght guys!! i just had,l the bes=t idea eve r.. what if i wnet out with opppy to centrla ark and let peolpe me5te her??> i’ll be thenre at ecatsxtly six oclockfgh

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Translation, since I’m 99% sure that Oppy was preventing him from typing: “Alright guys!! I just had the best idea ever. What if I went out with Oppy to Central Park and let people meet her? I’ll be there at exactly six o’clock.”

>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

               Holy shit are you gonna be there??

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Nah, I’m back to where I live(tennessee) because school and shit, Spidey’s gonna be taking care of Oppy in NY until I can get my house ready for the puppo and then she can stay there(so like two weeks, but I’ll bring her up to NY with me a ton!!)

>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                             g o d d a m m i t

                             [show more replies]

>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

        I would say no because dogs are nasty but Oppy looks fluffy so okay

>>> Hrly rspndd t my cmmnt @spidersonas

        Bitch I WISH, I live like ten states away tho(wait fuck where’s south carolina in relation to new york)

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Uhh whats up with your username?

>>>>>>>>> Hrly rspndd t my cmmnt @spidersonas

                      Lmao its “Harley responded to my comment” but with no vowels to make it shorter, goddammit now I have to change it to “Hrly nd spdy rspndd t my cmmnt”

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             NO

                             [show more replies]

>>> Lee @agentquake084

        #teamoppy ftw

>>> pIcK mE!!1! @actually_random_person

        Ooh what type of dog is it?? Have you said that yet?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               She’s a golden retriever!! (:

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I finally get around to writing the rest of the Parley series(Peter Parker meet Harley Keener) you'll meet Jamie for real and see what she looks like and how she talks!


	45. yeah, what he said!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twitter explodes after meeting Oppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu shoot me

♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

PSA: Spider-Man’s puppy is small and fluffy and sweet! 

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ITS TRUE SHE REALLY IS

>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

               You’re literally sitting right next to me, why would you tweet that at me instead of saying it?

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      UwU girl I’m upping your retweet count

[show more replies]

 

Cami @affectionatelyyyy

I just met @Spider_Man and he’s so nice and his dog is so fluffy!! Oppy is 100% the best name and now I think that I'm going to have to get another cat in the future and name her Oppy<3

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Honestly I would too, if I liked cats

[show more replies]

 

#1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

Yo @spider_man I’m gonna kidnap your and @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage’s child Oppy ok?

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        No the fuck you are not

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               yeah, what he said!

[show more replies]


	46. Tennessee is boring as shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley swears. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No not the actual Spider-Woman Gwen, that’s just the first name I thought of

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

It’s been two weeks since I was in NY and lemme just say, Tennessee is boring as shit

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper

        Skjlfsfkn I keep forgetting that you live in Tennesee, loser

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Bitch don’t say that about my fucking state, Tennessee is better than you’ll ever be

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      You literally just said that it was boring I—

                      [show more replies]

 

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

ANYWAYS I just got off the phone with Tony and!! I!!! Am in literal!! Tears! He said I can help him and Spidey modify!!! The!!!!! Spider suit!!!! This is the best!!! Day!! Of my!!! Life!!!! So?? What are we thinking??? Glitter? Sequins?? Any suggestions?

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        I did not agree to this

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Kid, I gave you a car when you were like 10. You have a bedroom at THE Stark Tower. How is THIS the best day of your life?

>>> Gwenjamin @sbiderwoman

        SKSSKSJS YOU’RE SO EXCITED THATS SO CUTE

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UwU y’all should comment more, I hardly had anyone to put as the guest star of the chapter owo  
> Did y’all know that the stunt double for Harley in IM3 was an adult, not to mention a girl?  
> Also I had an idea for yet another Parley fix but I’m not gonna post it because I’m already working on this one + Dear Diary + A Face To a Name soooooooooooo, I already have a list of like 10 ideas too


	47. i am emotionally attached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protecc the suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> formatting is a bitch

Spidey @spider_man

hey @iamironman why the HECK would you let him modify my suit without at the very least asking me? this is bull

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Well, 1. It’s my suit and 2. It’s my suit. Also, he hasn’t actually done anything to it yet. He won’t even be here until Saturday morning.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               so youre really gonna pull the ‘its my suit’ card huh 

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               also i hope you know that i am coming up saturday to make sure he doesnt completely ruin the suit

               [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Don’t worry, I won’t completely fuck it up! I was kidding about the glitter and sequins. Maybe.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i dont like the sound of that

               [show more replies]

>>> Riya @soaring_through_the_stars

        Despite how much I REALLY want to see Spider-Man covered in glitter, couldn’t you just make sure he doesn’t get the suit? I mean, you usually have it with you, don’t you?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               there are like 30 different versions of the suit, most of which mr. stark has, and i am emotionally attached to all of them

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just need 1 more kudos for 1000  
> anyways you know that one news article about a 'straight' guy who thought he was being homophobic to his gay roommate because he felt weird about the roommate kissing guys but really he just wanted the roommate to only kiss him? Parley. (dont steal my motherfluffing idea, even if you do i'll still write it better)


	48. does Tony Stark know how to sew??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Math

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone shoot me pleASE

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Okay so first we’re going over the og specs for the suit and I just started thinking about some shit and my question is this: how does the actual suit get made? Like I was talking to Spidey(Tony isn’t here right now cause of a lame ass meeting, we’re in Spidey’s lab instead of Tony’s) and he said that he’s only ever worked on it on the computer or once the actual suit was made. You can’t just, like, weld the pieces together, you have to stitch them or smthn. Holy shit does Tony Stark know how to sew??

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        holy crap how did that fit within the character limit for a tweet, thats literally 1.80714286 times the 280 characters allowed

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Uhhhh magic

               [show more replies]

>>> Robin @bundibird

        Do 3D printers print fabric? Let’s discuss

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Well I mean technically it can produce fabric-like garments constructed of intricate connections, like joints, that allow the material to bend and move, effectively creating chain-mail that mimics how fabrics actually move, but I bet I can make one that makes real fabric

>>>>>>>>> Robin @bundibird

                      I didn’t understand half of that

                      [show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REACHED 1000 KUDOS I'M SCREAMING


	49. sparklyspideysuit.img

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @idktiger is one of the best Instagram cosplayers, you should follow them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I linked that drawing I did in the chapter )0)w)0)  
> It's very low quality, so be warned. the feet look weird but I couldn't be bothered to change them  
> There were so many great lines in this chapter, it was hard to choose a title

Spidey @spider_man

i cant believe he actually put glitter on it. im going to scream. i have PATROL tonight and that was the only suit that inst ripped and/or burned and hhhhh murder

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Oh my GOD just put on the goddamn glitter suit and go sis

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               This is all your fault.  [ sparklyspideysuit.img ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BvMRvLgHiO8/)

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      THIS IS AMAZING WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE GLASSES, DO THEY SAY UWU?

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             yeah this nice old guy said that they were his grandsons before he outgrew them so i guess theyre mine now

                             [show more replies]

>>> Skye Bailey @cloudingofeyes

        I thought that that was a cosplayer in that suit sksjsjksk

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Now how the heck did he do that? Weren’t you,,, like,,, whatching him for a reason? 

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               uhhh well I had to take a shower really quick becuase he threw glitter on me sooo i wasnt there for like five minutes

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      So lemme get this straight- you knew that he had glitter with him, and yet you left him alone with the suit? Dumbass

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Oh honey nothing about this is straight

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                                    this is literally the straightest amount of straight ever, die

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        I’m going to scream, @idktiger should cosplay this it would be amazing

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but honestly you should follow @idktiger they're hot and they have an amazing Spider-Man cosplay


	50. glitter in places id rather not mention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit it's the 50th chapter!

Spidey @spider_man

can harley, like, die? like for real @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Lmao what did he di this time

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               there is glitter in places id rather not mention

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      OH MY GOD THATS AMAZING

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             NO ITS NOT WHAT THE HECK

                             [show more replies]

>>> Harley is bae @spxderley_

        NO HARLEY CANT DIE, YALL ARENT MARRIED YET

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               so i guess he’s immortal

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Bold of you to assume that it’s physically possible for me to die

>>> UwU @owlwithafringe

        im literally yelling noooo he cant die, i ship you two too hard

[show more replies]


	51. sorry, wait no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glitter and no regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. I NEED HELP FOR A FIC I'M WRITING. IF YOU HAVE ATTENDED MIT PLEASE EMAIL ME AT (tries to think of which of my 7 emails to give you) raisingeducationalhell@gmail.com  
> (side note: Looking at the East Campus' website physically hurt)

Spidey @spider_man

suit has been successfully deglittered, although the same cannot be said for my hair

>>> huh @onlyfivecents

        Oh god not glitter in the hair

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        dude evry1 will kno that its u, u have 2 get the glitter out of ur hair

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               dude ive literally taken 4 showers in the past 2 hours and its still there

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Oh my god I forgot that glitter gets everywhere I’m actually so sorry, wait no I’m not

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               die in a literal hole

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Bitch I’m too gay to die

[show more replies]


	52. you complete and utter numbskull

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author is tired but determined to write at least one more sucky chapter tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhh I have an academic challenge tournament tomorrow, wish your idiot author good luck PLEASE i need it

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Alright how the fuck did glitter get on Oppy, I’m very careful around the doge, ***** I’m looking at you

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Wait why did it blur his name out, I mean I’m not upset because I almost accidentally revealed Spider-Man’s identity but seriously what the fuck

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               I edited the algorithm so that you can’t accidentally do… that. And this is exactly why I did it. Idiot.

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Huh, interesting. I’m going to very pointedly ignore that insult.

                      [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        i literally cant believe you almost revealed my name you complete and utter numbskull, anyways how the heck would it be me, youre literally 16 and a half hrs away

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Alright then who the fuck was it

>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

        honestly what did you expect when you bring me a small fluffy puppy and leave your bag full of prank supplies just lying around XD

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               1. Don’t say XD, it’s cringey, 2. IT WAS LITERALLY LOCKED IN A SAFE HOW THE FUCK IS THAT ‘just lying around’ YOU LITTLE BITCH

>>> Fite me @odetonyama

        Glittery oppy is something i need in my life tbh

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try and guess my age in the comments to get your name featured in the next chapter UwU  
> Also comment if you want me to put the first paragraph of my new fic in the notes of the next chapter because I haven't finished writing it but I really want to share it


	53. 😏

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The author knows how to use emojis, ha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your guesses quite literally killed me last chapter. You should know that only loser 13 year olds tell anonymous people to guess their age. That being said, I'm a loser 13 year old.  
> Nobody guessed the age correctly sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I just chose the two that got the closest, Actual_Random_Person and craftybookworm25. Is the name I chose for craftybookworm25 a nod to my favorite crafty book worm, Hermione Granger? I dunno, is it?  
> WE WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP! I'm literally so proud of my team. I'm team captain so I got to hold the trophy for pictures and hhhhh  
> I'm conflicted because I'm pretty sure that a kid on the 6th grade team and a kid on the 8th grade team(I'm 7th) both have a crush on me and they're both hot as shit  
> So yeah now you know that I'm a wee child  
> The first paragraph of that fic that will probably take me a year to write is in the notes at the end of this chapter!

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

We found the culprit; it was my dumbass little sister

>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

        bitch

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Gasp! Such profane language! Who taught you your manners, young child?

>>>>>>>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

                      y o u

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        see!! i told you it wasnt me!!

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Okay, sorry I accused you. Maybe I could make it up to you? 😏

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      yea, you could. by dying.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Buzzkill

>>> Harmony @craftybookworm25

        Press F to pay respects

>>>>>> pIcK mE!!1! @actually_random_person

               To who? Harley, his dumbass little sister, or Oppy?

>>>>>>>>> Harmony @craftybookworm25

                      D, all of the above

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first paragraph:  
> "Living with a roommate that you hardly know is almost never easy, especially when you’re eighteen, fresh out of high school, and living 200 miles away from home. Peter had never thought of 200 miles as a lot, but after moving to Cambridge, Massachusetts, from Queens, New York, he saw it in a whole new light. 200 miles meant a three and a half hour drive every time he wanted to see Aunt May or Tony Stark, his mentor of four years. 200 miles meant that Queens lost its Spider-Man, even if Cambridge just gained one."


	54. he said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'UwU shoot me' reminds me of the time my friend said something in Japanese(I dunno what it meant, I'd have to ask my brothers) and then immediately after said "I'm going to kill you" in the most anime girl voice ever

Spidey @spider_man

i dont know what just happened

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ???

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               he said ‘will you go on a date with me’ and i said yes i think

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      UH you THINK? BITCH THE FUCK SPILL THE TEA

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             at this point i. Really don’t know

                             [show more replies]

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        What h a p p e n e d was you agreed to go on a date with me

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               why would i do that

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Honestly idk I was expecting you to say no

                      [show more replies]

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        DUDE CALLN EME

>>>>>> turning the frogs gay @move_im_gae

               wHY DO YOU TALK LIKE YOU KNOW SPIDERMAN DJSFN VJGIRKEWFIJON HBF SCX

>>> Lucia @aizaka

        That’s a mood

>>>  MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

         @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage you broke him.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more comments till 420  
> Edit: NOBODY FUCKING COMMENT DON’T RUIN IT ITS AT 420


	55. I will gladly fuck him up for you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author is depressed so she put herself in the chapter to make herself feel better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahahashootme

Spidey @spider_man

so apparently this is happening?? like, next weekend. someone help

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        I mean, do you like him like that? Cause it’s perfectly fine if you don’t, and you can always change your mind. If he tries to pressure you into anything I will gladly fuck him up for you!

>>>>>> Goose @an_animagoose

               I second the last part of that tweet

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i mean i guess? maybe? i havent thought about it much but hes nice ig, and please DONT fudge him up, he wouldnt do something like that

>>>>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas 

                      Honestly I’d say go for it. Just go on one date and see if you feel anything, and if not just stay friends. Frenemies? What even are y’all sksjksskjs

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             oh thats actually a really good idea thanks random fan account

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Oh my god are you not worried about him seeing these tweets

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               not really, i blocked him for a little bit so that he doesnt see them, ill just delete anything pertaining to him and then unblock him

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      That’s actually really smart, Imma use that next time I talk about the hot ppls at my school

[show more replies]


	56. ...spidersuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author is alive, unfortunately

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to state for chorus in two days, yippee... note the sarcasm. I can't sing for shit, I don't know why I even got chosen. Shoot me. ALso I'm literally the queen of manipulation

Spidey @spider_man

what do i WEAR sdkssdjkdjdsfjh

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        ...spidersuit

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               nO, were probably going to p u b l i c places and i cant just show up as a freaking superhero

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Jesus christ spidey just wear a button down and khakis, those will always work

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             hm. maybe.

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        Where are y’all going?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i dont KNOW

>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

               You should see the pained expression on his face.

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      nobody likes a snitch

[show more replies]

 

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Alright fuckers what the HELL do I wear to this, you know I had this all planned out but noooOOOOO I had to go and not plan an outfit

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        ...Interesting. Where are y’all going?

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               SHHHHHHHH IT’S A (...secret...)

>>>>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

                      That was. So strange. Why did you. Type it like. That.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Cause I wanted to, fuck off

>>> ★Superlock Fan★ @socionatural

        I’m screaming thats exactly what Spidey tweeted

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question: Hamilton or Panic! At the Disco?


	57. TRYING to make him cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done with the first chapter of that roommate fic sksksskssjkks  
> Anyways new comment goal: 666

Spidey @spider_man

ohmygodohmygodohmygodthedateisliterallyinfiveminutes

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Holy shit really??

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               YES REALLY GRKVFBHOEBGERNvfhbiuhjn

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Did you ever decide what to wear?

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             khakis and button down, like you said

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    I am. Honored

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        Okay but have you found out where you’re going yet

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               ...no

>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

               Are you TRYING to make him cry?

>>>>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

                      Do you like actually know him or—

>>>>>>>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

                             …

>>> alyssa @panwithnoplan

        Aw, good luck!!

[show more replies]


	58. a limo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The goal is to make the chapter title clickbaity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably going to be my last update for a couple of days!! I'm leaving for state for chorus in uhhh an hour and a half. I won't be back until Saturday!! I might post from my iPad while I'm there. Who knows.

Spidey @spider_man

im going to punch him why is there a limo outside of my house. well technically its an apartment but same diff.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        1. I can’t believe you just used the frase ‘same diff’ and 2. AHHHHH A LIMO FSJLDKVH SERIOUSLY???

>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

               ...sis it’s spelled phrase

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Wow I’m a dumbass

>>> @anonhatesusernames

        Hm. Neutral good

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               he is chaotic good and you know it

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Honestly I’m offended that you would think so lowly of me. Come ON. As @spider_man said, I am OBVIOUSLY chaotic good. 

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you interested, Katie is neutral good, Jamie is true neutral, Jamie's little sister Alana is lawful evil, Peter is lawful good, Harley is chaotic good, another of my OC's, Rowan, is true neutral, and ANOTHER of my OC's who will probably come in in the next twitter fic, Riley, is lawful evil.


	59. hhhhhhhh Andrew if you’re seeing this marry me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew in eighth grade is hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andrew from my school is hot and I’m pan and uiernjvbfhidjnocxiklmfejidnjkvnjcdd and Ryan Simpkins(Ty’s sis) is hot as shit, I really hope she’s a lesbian  
> WE GOT A SUPERIOR(HIGHEST RANKING) AT STATE JFDAJONFEDHOOUFHUFDF

Spidey @spider_man

i— what the fycjgbefyrrewwewefihud

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Um?? What?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               he showed up in a fricking SUIT

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Bitch the FUCK, I’D PAY TO SEE THAT

>>> boi @gemlhknight

        This has the potential to be a great reaction image

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        I just read your convo with @spider_mam and hot DAMN a SUIT? Hm. I bet it’d be hotter if a girl was wearing a suit. Girls wearing suits are hot. I’m gay.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Literally nothing could be hotter than this right now

>>>>>>>>> Elena @spidersonas

                      What a mood when that eighth grader in honor band looked at me with that fucking LOOK in the all black button down outfit and hhhhhhhh Andrew if you’re seeing this marry me

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My o t h e r crush just stared at me and licked her lips and licked a cup of banana pudding while still staring at me but FUCK she has a girlfriend. I really fucking want a girlfriend.


	60. a good john mulaney quote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Mulaney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lost my will to live  
> Rough posting schedule for that roommate fic:  
> 1st chap- Sat. April 20th  
> 2nd chap- Wed. April 24th  
> 3rd chap- Sat. April 27th  
> 4th chap- Wed. May 1st  
> 5th chap- Sat. May 4th  
> 6th chap- Wed. May 8th  
> 7th chap- Sat. May 11th  
> 8th chap- Wed. May 15th

Spidey @spider_man

all the windows are tinted black so i cant see where were going, i feel. Unsafe

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        Awww don’t worry, I’m not taking you to the woods and murdering you, you’re too cute for that (:

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               He started blushing as soon as I posted this, he’s adorable

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      literallyjustshutup

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             Why don’t you make me?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                                    Update: he kicked me really hard on the shin and is now hiding in the corner of the limo

>>> Fanpage<3 @tonystarkisgreat

        Okay. Your odds of coming back alive from the primary location, about 60%. But if you are taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               im all for a good john mulaney quote but did it really have to be that one? now im scared again ):

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an idea for yet another new fic. Peter goes to nationals with his acadec team, but there isn't an even number of people on his team so he has to room with someone from another team that they're competing against. Guess who the fuck it is  
> (That may or may not be inspired by me having to spend the weekend in a hotel room with my crush and her girlfriend)


	61. M a g i c(andalotofmoney)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Money gets you a lot of things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jamie knows who they are but they don't really go to that coffee shop much, but she was still willing to help out a Harley in need!  
> I just finished a Captain Valkyrie drawing and hhhhhh new favorite ship

Spidey @spider_man

im literally sobbing he brought me to that coffee shop that we first went to. now im just wondering why theres only one other person there, aka the employee that already knows my identity

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

        M a g i c(andalotofmoney) ANYWAYS get off your phone

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               fineeeeee

>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

         You two are actually so cute, and @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage DANG where’d you get that suit cause I want one

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               UwU DM me later, I can hook you UP

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Holy shit I would kill to see y’all together tbh

[show more replies]


	62. go make out with your girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the matter of Jamie:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The small text says the word 'this' if it won't show up for you  
> Why do all my OCs have five letter names I'm sobbing

♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

Update on the Spiderley date situation: they’re in the booth where they sat the first time and Spidey is all blushy while Harley is being super flirty and shit

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        This ain’t fucking fair, why do you get to know their identity’s and why can’t you just telllllllll me

>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

               NDAs and money, honey

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Lmao don’t call me honey, Rowan will fuck you up

>>>>>>>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

                             I literally call you honey all the time as a joke, go make out with your girlfriend or something and leave me alone

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spideley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    JAMIE YOU CAN’T JUST S A Y THAT

                                    [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        youre really just gon call me out like that huh

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Sis I am ᵗ ʰ ᶦ ˢ close to yeeting your phone out the door

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      FINEENDUFHICDFVHBFUHOIFE

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm like really depressed and y'all are all so nice and hhhh I love y'all  
> I FINISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE ROOMMATE FIC!! not gonna post it yet cause then it'll be forever till I update again but I finished the first chap!! It's ~3000 words before editing. A couple things about it:  
> 1\. MJs a fucking lesbian because how is she anything other than a lesbian  
> 2\. OHO? WHAT'S THIS? A LOVE TRIANGLE? PETER, HARLEY, AND... AN OC? INSPIRED BY ONE OF MY 7 CRUSHES?  
> 3\. Harley's a fucking PLAYER like damn son tone down the Stark fuckboy vibes  
> 4\. Everything that happened before Infinity War is canon in the fic, but Infinity War never happened so Peter's just a normal superpowered teen. No dying here!  
> 5\. It's not t h a t angsty, okay? Nobody dies or comes close to dying soooooooo


	63. iS tHis AllOwed? Is thIS alLOWed?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katie and Rowan are my fav white bitch gfs  
> Well technically Rowan's not white, she's only half white(other half is Asian) but same diff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahahaha I may be getting homeschooled soon so more time for fanfics!!! Yay!

♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

Alright looks like I’m the only source of the good Spiderley kush since Spidey is blushing in the corner and Harley looks like he’s on love drugs or smthn, SO here’s a pic with faces scribbled out since legally I’m not allowed to post pics of their faces

ishipit.img

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        That’s?? Literally?? So?? Cute???? @rowan_sky_walker why can’t we have this

>>>>>> Rowan @rowan_sky_walker

               We literally do you dumb bitch

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      D:

>>>>>>>>>>>> Rowan @rowan_sky_walker

                             I’m sorry babe I didn’t mean it, you’re brilliant

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                           :D

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

                                                  iS tHis AllOwed? Is thIS alLOWed?!

>>> Juliana @unfittingpuzzlepieces

        We stan two(2) White Boys

[show more replies]


	64. This is HOMOPHOBiA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe if I pretend like people care, they'll start caring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to have all the chapter summaries be sad depressing cryptic things from now on

Rowan @rowan_sky_walker

Somebody help me, my girlfriend just crawled through my fucking WINDOW and is now ranting about how cute Spiderley is. Somebody get this girl a sedative. @spider_man @tonybrokeintomygarage this is all y’alls faults

>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

        Their phones are off, they won’t see that you tagged them. Try again later.

>>>>>> Rowan @rowan_sky_walker

               I am an innocent disaster lesbian, I don’t need a hot girl lying in my fucking lap whining about a fucking superhero and his boyfriend. Come get ya goddamn bestie(also wHY do you type like a fucking robot)

>>>>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

                      What does being an innocent disaster lesbian have to do with literal anything? And I’m at work right now, just give her a cookie. Cookies make her quiet. Trust me, it’s a neat trick.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Rowan @rowan_sky_walker

                             This is HOMOPHOBiA do not discriminate against the lesbians, bitch

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ♡Jamie♡ @its_ya_girl_jamie_

                                     ...I’m literally bi.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        But BABeeEEE they’re so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!11!

>>> Eva @halloweenevaa

        Honestly I would do that too if I.. you know. Had a girlfriend to rant to.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So y'all know that roommates fic right?? WELL. I have exactly 187 words on the second chapter so far and I really need to get going on that but I'm also gonna have a fic entirely dedicated to scenes that didn't make the cut on the actual fic. Most of the chapters are just going to be really domestic scenes of Peter trying to study and Harley trying to distract him fiuh98gjdsferinfsud


	65. (Star Wars, obviously)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been so inactive, I'm tryna figure out all this homeschooling shit sjsksjskj

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Guys!! I’m!! Gay!!

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Alright spill the goddamn tea what happened??

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               WELL after leaving the coffee place we went back to the tower and watched a movie in the theater(Star Wars, obviously) and he!! Fell asleep!! On my shoulder!! Sdjsjsdkjsj

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Pics or it didn’t happen

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             spideysleepingonharley.img

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    Now how about one without scribbled out faces👀

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                                           How about… no.

>>> Ellie @llewellyne

        What a mood skjskskssj

>>> Elena @spidersonas

        I vote that Harley be the representative of all gaykind

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. TY SIMPKINS WENT LIVE AND HE SAW MY COMMENT. “Are you,,,,, straight” For the record, yes, he is straight. Apparently he's 6'0, which doesn't match up with what google says but oh well. IMPORTANT: He said he hasn't seen RDJ in a few years, which means he's probably not in endgame.


	66. TONY STARK KNOWS WHAT TREEBROS IS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My obsession with DEH takes over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know every word to the soundtrack of Dear Evan Hansen by memory and I just got the book and hhhhhh Treebros really is the best ship(after Parley, of course)

Tony Stark @iamironman

Update on the sleeping situation: Harley has now fallen asleep as well, so now they are awkwardly sleeping in my personal movie theater. What the fuck do I do?

doiwakethemuporwhat.img

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        NO PLEASE IM BGEGING YOU DONT WAKE THME UP, also I’m still waiting for that uncensored photo👀

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               No, you are not getting photos of my kids.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Hold the FUCK up, your k i d s ? Wat the fack dude

>>> Shep! @shleapord

        Awww, don’t wake them up!

>>> Treebros @noonedeservestobeforgotten

        I ship this more than Treebros and thats saying something

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               I’m sure both of them would be honored to hear that.

>>>>>>>>> Treebros @noonedeservestobeforgotten

                      HOLY SHIT TONY STARK KNOWS WHAT TREEBROS IS SJDKJDSJKFKSD

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             It’s all Spidey’s fault, for the record.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you rather Treebros or Parley be canon?


	67. -_-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Pepper McFucking Potts  
> Katie can't spell illegitimate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had ANOTHER idea for a fic but we'll wait until I finish the four fics I'm currently working on to write that one(:  
> The first chapter of my roommates fic is going up next Saturday!! What's a good title? I still don't have one.

Pepper @pottspepper

Can somebody please explain why my fiance is sleeping in our movie theater with the boys? Please?

myboys.img

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Holy crap that’s ADORABLE. Okay but can we get a picture without Harley and Spidey’s faces colored over?(:

>>>>>> Pepper @pottspepper

               Good question! No.

>>> CRANBERRYMOON @cranberrymoon

        I know! Okay so spidey and harley went on a date and they came back and watched a movie and then spidey fell asleep on harley and then harley fell asleep too and then tony probably joined them cause they looked comfy :D

>>>>>> Pepper @pottspepper

               Thank you!

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        I should be there instead of Harley… -_-

>>>>>> Pepper @pottspepper

               No, actually, you shouldn’t! Thanks! Leave my kid alone.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spideyley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Oh so now he’s YOUR kid too? Oh my god is harley your illegitamate child-

>>> Tea @lmaosissnapped

        you should totally join them and take a family photo

>>>>>> Pepper @pottspepper

               Absolutely, I’ll even get it framed.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me a good title for the roommate fic BLEASE  
> GUYS GO COMMENT ON THE LATEST CHAPTER OF DEAR DIARY TODAY I MET A BOY PLEASE I'M DESPERATE


	68. Ily <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter. If you know, you know. (not the end of the fic, but something... else.)

Spidey @spider_man

why does he have to leave? ):

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Kid, he leaves this afternoon. You have almost 6 hours to spend with him before he leaves. Why are you complaining?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               but thats not long enoughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      It would be if you would get off your phone.

                      [show more replies]

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        I can come take his place once he’s gone <3

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               Fuck off, Eugene.

>>>>>>>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

                      Oh my god!! Spider-Man!! Thank you for responding!! I can’t believe you know my name! Ily <3

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             This is Harley, actually. I’m borrowing his phone, since he has no idea how to stand up for himself. I have a suggestion. Leave Spidey and me alone. Spidey doesn’t like you and never will. So I reiterate, fuck off, Eugene.

>>> Fite me @odetonyama

        Harley is best boyf

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Oh my god just kiss already

[show more replies]


	69. oh my gay he’s so pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter dedicated to SmolTownFangirl because they are... THE Parley author. Also, surprise, it's the 69th chapter!

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Holy fucking shit. He actually did it. Holy shit.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        JNFSdioFS WHATD HE DO TELLMETELLMETELLME

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               He fucking. Kissed me.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      waT THE FUK SPILL THE TEA

>>>>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                             He was all blushy and flustered and it was adorable and it was just before I got on the private jet and fdjsjdsfflskf I’m kinda gay

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    HOLY FUKCINMG SHITAKE MUSHROOMS

                                    [show more replies]

>>> The Princess™ @smoltownfangirl

        Hfjksafjkaslbfjkasblh i just read your exchange with @spider_mam and i,,, want more details,,

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               He literally just fucking grabbed my face and kissed me and then pushed me onto the fucking plane and waved at me through the window as I took off with this cheeky little fucking grin and oh my gay he’s so pretty

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days until the first chapter of the roommate fic(probably called Across the Room or something) goes up, also two days until my former crush's birthday,,,,,, so,,,,, uh,,,,,, have a spoiler!  
> Living with a roommate that you hardly know is almost never easy, especially when you’re eighteen, fresh out of high school, and living 200 miles away from home. Peter had never thought of 200 miles as a lot, but after moving to Cambridge, Massachusetts, from Queens, New York, he saw it in a whole new light. 200 miles meant a three and a half hour drive every time he wanted to see May, his aunt, or Tony Stark, his mentor of four years. 200 miles meant that Queens lost its Spider-Man, even if Cambridge just gained one.


	70. ...Good night, kid.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GO READ ACROSS THE ROOM, FUCKERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seeing Dear Evan Hansen in July!! I'm fucking hyped!!

Tony Stark @iamironman

Somebody save me, please.

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Why the fuck is Tony Stark up at 4 in the morning

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Harley won’t stop texting me about *****.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      SDKJLFSDNSDKJF DID YOU ALMOST SAY HIS NMANE DFISOJDISH and just?? block?? him?? like not permanently or anything, just for the night

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             You think I haven’t tried that?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                                    I don’t like the implications of that

                                    [show more replies]

>>> peter @peter_man

        mr. stark?? are you okay??

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Yeah kid, I’m fine. Spidey’s boyfriend won’t go to sleep, but other than that, I’m good. Why are you still awake?

>>>>>>>>> peter @peter_man

                      um. no reason. goodnight!

>>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                             ...Good night, kid.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS WHO WANTS TO SEE EVERYTHING FROM MY "IDEAS" GOOGLE DOC? I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I REALLY WANT TO SHARE IT, IF YOU USE ONE OF THESE PLEASE JUST CREDIT ME FOR THE IDEA  
> Dear Diary, Today I Saw a Boy-Five years later, Peter sees someone he never thought he’d see again.(continuation of Dear Diary, Today I Met a Boy)  
> Angsty fic of Peter having an anxiety attack after failing to save someone and reading journal entries of people he’s saved  
> Stucky fic Where Steve likes babies but is really fucking bad with them and somehow Bucky is really good with them  
> Roommates, Peter thinks he’s straight and Harley is gay  
> Crime lord au, Harley is Tony’s son and Peter saves him, complete immunity from crime  
> That one where peter goes to another universe where he and Harley are dating  
> Harley is learning to be a PR person and has to help maintain Peter's secret identity  
> Peter x Spider-Man with Harley’s help
> 
> Runaways  
> He couldn’t breathe. Everything he saw was a reminder to how his life had gone to shit, and it tore him apart, piece by piece. He wasn’t thinking, only feeling. Numbingly painful thoughts flooded his head as he shoved clothes into a backpack. Tears blurred his vision, but he refused to give whatever greater power that was doing this to him the satisfaction of seeing him cry.  
> Taking one more broken, longing look behind him at his aunt’s deserted apartment, Peter Parker stepped out into the world.  
> Internet ‘Dating’ to real life dating
> 
> DEH fic where Connor dies and only Evan can see his ghost  
> -Someone in the class calls out “What, does he think he’s better than us?” and Evan mutters “He was.”  
> Soulmate AUs  
> -Black stain where they first touch
> 
> Band field trip, state?  
> Uneven number of people  
> One has to share a room with someone from another school
> 
>  
> 
> Don't fucking ask me what all of these mean, I don't even know. Actually, no, do ask me about them in the comments, I really want to talk about them


	71. For the record, he totally is your boyfriend.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS ACCOUNT IS ENDGAME SPOILER FREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, storytime on my experience watching Endgame(does not contain spoilers): The power cut out halfway through the movie. We got halfway through the fucking movie and the fucking power cut out and I'm so fucking pissed-

Spidey @spider_man

i cant believe that mr stark called harley my boyfriend and i was ASLEEP for it. what the fuck. hes not my boyfriendddd! wait is he?? i dont fucking know

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        u werent asleep tho?? u literally replied 2 his tweet?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               DUDE. WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

>>>>>>>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

                      oooohhh. sorry!! ill delete my tweet, whoops

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Yeah. Right. Mhm. For the record, he totally is your boyfriend.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               did you just unironically say totally?

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Yes, yes I did. Nice job avoiding the subject, by the way.

>>> Tinkerbell? @fandom_fairy 

        He’s absolutely your boyfriend!! Don’t deny it.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to think Jamilton was a really weird ship but now I kinda really ship it, FUCK-


	72. irrationally mad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hm? Two updates in one day? Wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on Across the Room: I kinda... deleted it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna write and post it, but only once I finish it. All these self-imposed deadlines make my head hurt ):

Spidey @spider_man

update: he is my boyfriend

>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

        Told you so.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               hhhhh i know i shouldve listened to you, you are our gay savior who knows all

>>>>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

                      Damn right I am

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      Damn right she is

                      [show more replies]

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Sdflkjsfd dude wasn’t that established approximately several months ago

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               the use of the word ‘approximately’ along with the vague term ‘several’ makes me irrationally mad

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Thanks, that’s kinda what I was going for

>>> Gwen @sbiderwoman

        i'm crying happy tears

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               :’D

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone watch She-Ra?


	73. Thomas Jefferson in every Jamilton fic ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha Hamilton references

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm finally going to see the rest of Endgame in a couple hours!! Yay!

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

So I have this thing where I use pet names a lot, I guess it’s sort of a southern thing but not really?? And I called Spidey darlin’ and his face just?? Tomatoed??

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        did you HAVE to tell the entire internet that?

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Yes, because they need to know how adorable my boyfriend is.

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      Dfsjlksdfkjsvndlkcdnsvdjk

>>> KICK @peribow

        I want someone to call me darlin’ in a southern drawl ):

>>> THERE’S A BEE?? @peterparkerwithab

        lmao who are you, Thomas Jefferson in every Jamilton fic ever?

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               ...Why the fuck do you-

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys DM me on insta @uprisingpresident (that's my personal) cause I want friends. Bonus!!! If you DM me I'll spill all the juicy secrets on all my fics


	74. you hecking know what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied about this ACCOUNT being spoiler free, but this fic is!! I just posted a fic inspired by Endgame which I FINALLY saw the end of and it has like 10 spoiler warnings, but if you've seen endgame you should definitely go read it(:

Spidey @spider_man

theres this winter party that my school is having and you hecking know what? i’m bringing harley.

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Kid. Are you sure you should be sharing this information on the internet?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               its fine, we’ll have masks and stuff cause the school is trying(and failing) to be cool and fancy so they made it a masquerade ball type thingy

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      You really need to be more responsible with what you tweet.

>>> Flash @spidermansnumberonefan

        Omg😍 My school is doing one of those too!! You should totally come!! I go to Midtown High, the dance is this Friday at 7 o’clock if you want to come!!<3

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               no thanks, i’ll be at my own dance.

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Please stop flirting with my boyfriend, thanks. 

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	75. SPEECH 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao i'm alive

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Oh my god, Pepper made us get matching outfits, I’m gonna DIE

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        What are you going to do about it? Are you really going to openly defy my fiancée? Good luck with that.

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               I’m not not going to listen to her, but I’m also going to do so very angrily

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        at least its not a dress!!

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Honestly at this point I’d be up for a dress if it meant not looking like one of those sets of twins that wear the exact same thing as each other everyday

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      cmon its not thaaaaat bad

>>>>>>>>>>>> MJ @myfriendsareobsessedwithspiderman

                             Yes it is.

[show more replies]


	76. Kid are you okay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the part where everything goes to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> America's gonna murder me for this oh god oh fuck

Spidey @spider_man

jkdsfljkdsfjlkdsf the dance is tonight i’m so nervous

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Aren’t you in class right now?

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               …yes

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Do your work, kid. Harley’s just as nervous as you are, but I'm sure he’s still doing his work.

[show more replies]

 

Abby Keener @abby_keener06

Y’all has anyone seen my brother, he didn’t come home on the bus @iamironman @spider_man

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Uh? Why wasn’t he on the bus? @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage Kid are you okay?

>>>>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

               I don’t know, why do u think I’m asking u?

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        why did you already go home, its only like eleven? he hasnt texted me, should i be worried? im worried. should i come down there and look for him? im gonna come down there and look for him.

>>>>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

               We had a half day at the middle school today cause parent-teacher conferences are this afternoon and since the middle school was let out early, the high school was too

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               No you’re not, I’m sure he just missed the bus. I’ll see if I can get a hold of him. Don’t worry.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do y'all feel about the Young Avengers?o).o)


	77. serious situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god oh fuck America's gonna murder me fuck fuck fuCK I'M RUNNING MY DOORS ARE LOCKED MY WIG IS GLUED MY TEA IS SEALED HELP

Tony Stark @iamironman

Harley Keener hasn’t been seen in the last three hours. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please email me at tonystark@starkindustries.com. @riririririririri @young_avengers If you can help... @spider_man I’m coming to pick you up from school.

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        okay, i’ll be ready when you get here.

>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

         We’ll definitely help!! Wiccan says that he can’t let anything happen to his OTP. We can meet you in Tennessee, just DM us the coords. -Hawk-Eye

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               I swear, every time I see you signing off as Hawk-Eye I get so confused.

>>>>>>>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

                      Clint legit gave me this name and you agreed, don’t tell me you don’t like it /: -Hawk-Eye

>>> Riririri @riririririririri

        Sorry, midterms are coming up and I’m stuck studying, I totally would help if I could!! Harley seems nice from the way you talk about him.

>>> Ameribitch @lico_lico

        Uh he’s probably dead, or kidnapped, cause even if you’re going to get your man something at the store you don’t take three hours

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Please don’t say that, this is a serious situation.

>>>>>>>>> Ameribitch @lico_lico

                      Oh my god I’m so sorry!! I really hope you find him.

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh... young avengers! Yay?


	78. I’m gonna attack you if you d-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wiccan is a fanboy, don't deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is drawing to a close!! There's probably going to be about 10 more chapters. It's going to end as soon as ****** is ***** and ***** gets ****** ****. (:

Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

Guys??? Spider-Man??? Loves??? Harley??? So??? Much??? Like I tell how much he cares about him from just listening to him talk about him. He’s so fucking worried. I just??? Wow. -Wiccan

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Stop tweeting about it and go help him find Harley or so help me

>>>>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

               I am!!!! Leave me alone ):  -Wiccan

>>> Reeee @insomniacforevermore

        I swear to god if you don’t help find him-

>>>>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

               Why is everyone threatening me?? I feel attacked -Wiccan

>>>>>>>>> Reeee @insomniacforevermore

                      I’m gonna attack you if you d-

>>> Gwanda @strawberry_jam

        10/10 punctuation

>>>>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

               Sorry, he’s just very, very excited about meeting Spider-Man. -Miss America

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That isn't Gwen, by the way, just a name inspired by her(:


	79. Harley, science, Star Wars, superheroes, and Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley, science, Star Wars, superheroes, and Hamilton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Stalling the end of this fic as much as possible? Psh... no way.

Tony Stark @iamironman

The fact that Spidey isn’t fangirling over meeting the Young Avengers says a lot about how worried he is right now.

>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

        Holy shit he would fangirl over meeting US??? Fdsfjklkjsdf -Wiccan

>>> #1 spidey stan @_guyinthechair_

        i rlly want to meet them but tht would probably give away spideys identity)):

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Woah, Spider-Man’s a fanboy? I actually didn’t expect that

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               If you ever get to meet him, you should pray you like the same things he does because he does not shut up about anything he likes, i.e. Harley, science, Star Wars, superheroes, and Hamilton.

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Holy shit he likes Hamilton?? sjkdsjfdskjlsfd now I HAVE to meet him

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the deal: There will be a few more chapters that resolve the 'conflict'(Harley missing) and all of those will be twitter format, then there will be one last chapter that's written as a normal fanfic chapter(like most fanfics are written). There are so many different ways that last chapter could be written so it may take me longer than normal to write, and also because its going to be more than 160 words.


	80. Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive, and I'm not the only one-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's ending so soon.  
> Am I Parley famous yet?

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

i lived bitch

ihatehospitals.img

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        JSDKJKFD WHAT HAPPENED WHERE WERE YOU,,,,,

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Uhhh these nobodies kidnapped me cause they figured out I had a connection to Tony so uh,,, yeah. I’m only mildly traumatized

>>>>>>>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

                      Omg that’s terrible!!

>>> Péťa Zedrok @petazedrok

        I’m so happy you’re back!!

>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

        Hhhhh I can’t believe we got to meet you and spidey and help find you!! I’m so glad you’re okay((: -Wiccan

>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

               Thank you so much for your help. You can come visit anytime you like.

>>>>>>>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

                      FJHFSKLJLKJFSSDF THANK YOU

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        harleyyyy you should be restinggg, turn off your phone and go to sleep pleaseee

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               Why don’t you make me?(;

>>> Harley Stan @an_animagoose

        Wow, a face reveal after coming back from the dead? Power move (also wow you have a nice face)

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               He’s also taken(:

>>>>>>>>> Harley Stan @an_animagoose

                      That’s not what I meant-

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make some headcanons about @spider_mam to use in the next fic in this series-  
> Here's what I already know about her:  
> -her name is Katie Coleman  
> -basic white girl  
> -Closeted bisexual  
> -Floofy brown hair  
> -Really light freckles  
> -Hazel eyes  
> -secretly dating Rowan Walker(another OC)  
> -plays soccer  
> -Okayish grades(mostly B's, a couple C's)  
> -ADHD


	81. I'm moving up to New York!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me? Gifting this fic to SmolTownFangirl cause they're Iconic? You better fucking believe it

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

Great news!!! I’m moving up to New York!!! My mom and sister are coming with me and we’re all gonna live in a place that none of you will know about because privacy and it’ll be GREAT

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        why wasnt i told this before twitter found out-

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               I texted you about it?? You never responded??

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      WAIT FUCK I NEVER PRESSED SEND I’M SO SORRY BABE

                      [show more replies]

>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

        pls don’t get us murdered by spilling all our secrets on twitter

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               ,,,,,,,,,,, die, heathen

>>>>>>>>> Abby Keener @abby_keener06

                      gladly.

                      [show more replies]

>>> and i oop @bartonclan

        And suddenly I wish I lived in New York-

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since nobody fuCKING RESPONDED LAST TIME:  
> Make some headcanons about @spider_mam to use in the next fic in this series-  
> Here's what I already know about her:  
> -her name is Katie Coleman  
> -basic white girl  
> -Closeted bisexual  
> -Floofy brown hair  
> -Really light freckles  
> -Hazel eyes  
> -secretly dating Rowan Walker(another OC)  
> -plays soccer  
> -Okayish grades(mostly B's, a couple C's)  
> -ADHD


	82. cover your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate Bishop can GET IT

Spidey @spider_man

i think i just saw hawkeye walk down the hall?? im actually panicking?? like did they figure out where i went to school or something??

>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

        Hawkeye is on house arrest, it was probably just a teacher.

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               not that hawkeye, the one from the young avegners jkjdsfsf

>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark @iamironman

                      Oh. I’ll have Happy come pick you up after school and we can talk about it.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                             okay mr. stark!! thank you!!

>>> Young Avengers(memelords)! @young_avengers

        I’M SORRY, W H A T ? -Hawkeye

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               i?? dont know?? i think it was you?? i just asked my teacher for a hallpass and im walking down the hall to see if its really you, and, uh,,, you should really think about getting something to cover your face?

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone commented on like chapter 15 that @spider_mam is annoying, and you know what? You're going to fucking HATE the next fic in this series.(:  
> On the topic of the next fic, it's going to have a slightly different format. It will still have the basic Twitter format from this one, but there will also be,,,,, something else.(; I think y'all will like it(hopefully)


	83. my boyfriend AND the young avengers

Spidey @spider_man

sdjdsdkj apparently three of the young avengers go to my school?? we all have the same lunch period?? its also the same period that harley will have when he moves up next week?? i could potentially sit with my boyfriend AND the young avengers at lunch???

>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintogarage

        Babe you’re such a fanboy

>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

               you say that like you didn’t internet stalk spider-man for like 2 months

>>>>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

                      that was different,,,,,

[show more replies]

 

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

All the boxes are packed!!! Me, my sister, and my mom will all be moving up to NY on Sunday!! I wonder if anyone will recognize me,,,,,

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Didnt you literally tweet out a photo of your face less than a week ago-

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               I deleted that because apparently it was a ‘threat to my privacy’/: so only a few people saw it

               [show more replies]

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        if someone recognizes you i might scream cause that means that i can’t walk around with you in civilian clothes fkjdfsk

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               We’ll figure something out<3

[show more replies]


	84. The Princess™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, he's going to Midtown, it's all for show so that people don't think Spidey goes to his school(this will make sense after you read the chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!! (unfortunately)  
> Read the notes at the bottom if you have discord oop  
> SmolTownFangirl I!! Love you 3000  
> An actual quote from them when I showed them this chapter: "SKSKSKSKSKSKKS WHY DO YOU KNOW HOW I TYPE IM THAT PRADOCTABLE SKSKSKSKS"  
> A couple more quotes after I posted it: "SKSKSKSKSKSKS BULLY" "I!!! Am very!!! Unpredictable!!!"  
> (Wow princess ily)

Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

I officially live in NY!! My first day at the new school I’m going to is tomorrow. If my guide around the school is a bitch I’ll send an SOS signal, Tony be ready to come save me

>>> Spidey @spider_man

        no flirting with other students when im not there pls

>>>>>> Harley @tonystarkbrokeintomygarage

               What do you think I am, a thot?

>>>>>>>>> Spidey @spider_man

                      i feel like if i say anything other than no i’ll mysteriously disappear so no?

                      [show more replies]

>>> #1 Spiderley Shipper @spider_mam

        Ajsdjdksh there’s an irrational hope in the back of my mind that you’re coming to my school

>>> The Princess™ @smoltownfangirl

        I!! Want to move to New York now

[show more replies]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to join my dumbass fantasy discord server in which I'm the queen, SmolTownFangirl is the princess, a charliebradburyismyspiritanimal is a faerie, here's the link: https://discord.gg/s2JABWW (so basically three iconic Parley writers are there oop)  
> Make sure to do an introduction to be let into the rest of the server!!  
> Now, time to make the chapter that will take the longest to write oop, I'm gonna die real quick. It might take a week or two to post!! Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	85. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the notes at the bottom or perish  
> karen is basically glorified siri

Peter pulled his mask up to the bridge of his nose, watching the way the air fogged up when he exhaled. His eyes scanned the New York skyline, one last check before he turned in for the night. His patrol had gone smoothly; it was like all crime had stopped for the night.

“Incoming message from Harley,” Karen announced in his ear. Peter involuntarily smiled, standing up from his perch on the edge of Stark Tower and rolling his mask back down.

“What’s it say, Karen?” he said, fighting back the giddy feeling he got every time he got a message from Harley. 

“‘When will you be back?’” she read out. There was a mischievous quality to Karen’s voice, like she knew something he didn’t. It made him think that if she had a face, she would definitely be smirking.

“Tell him I just finished patrol, about to head inside.”

“Okay, Peter.”

Peter rolled his head to each side, stretching, before stepping off the edge of the building. He let himself freefall for a few seconds before shooting out a web and swinging through his open window. He landed on the full size bed and laid there for a moment, letting his body rest after swinging over Manhattan buildings for the past two hours. 

“Harley said, ‘Keep your mask on and come downstairs to the lobby.’”

Peter’s mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusions, anxious thoughts running through his head faster than Usain Bolt on steroids. It was nearly eight at night, why should he keep his mask on? All the employees were usually cleared out by five, five thirty at the latest. Was Harley in trouble? Was there some bad guy downstairs, and Harley didn’t want them to see Peter’s face?

He was already racing down the hallway by the time Karen finished relaying the message, distractedly saying, “Thanks, Karen,” as he furiously mashed the ‘down’ button on the elevator.

Peter practically dove into the elevator as soon as the doors opened, slamming his hand on the button labeled ‘L’ with a small star beside it. 

The ride down somehow seemed slower than usual, disgustingly calm elevator music filling the tense air. Peter tolerated it for the first fifty or so floors before finally snapping, slinging a layer of web over the speakers installed into the ceiling. By the time he reached the ground floor, he was ready to stab someone.

He heard it before he saw it. The obnoxiously noisy dance music was loud enough for even an unenhanced person to hear through the elevator doors, but the unmistakable sound of excited teens was what really caught his attention. 

Although he’d never admit it, he almost cried at the sight of the winter masquerade party that was being held in the lobby of Stark Tower. There were easily over two hundred teenagers there, and a big DJ booth was set up by the front desk. Almost everyone’s faces were covered in some sort of mask, and they were all wearing extravagant dresses and suits.

Peter’s breath caught in his throat when he finally found Harley in the sea of high schoolers. His red mask matched his gold-trimmed suit, held in place with an elastic band. He was laughing with two people that Peter identified as Ned and MJ, but it only took him a second to look up and realize that Peter was there. His face broke out into an elated grin, and he practically flew over to wrap Peter in his arms. 

A few kids were starting to take notice of Peter, but they didn’t break out into whispers of “Oh my god, it’s Spider-Man!” like he expected them to. Instead, they barely glanced at him before going back to talking to their friends. It felt like he was just regular Peter Parker for once, even though he was wearing the suit.

Harley all but crashed into Peter, and they probably would’ve fallen over if Peter wasn’t Spider-Man. Harley’s arms wrapped around him, tugging Peter close to his chest. 

“Hey, Spidey,” Harley said, his voice giddy with excitement. Peter pulled back slightly to look up at him. Harley’s smile was infectious, it seemed, and Peter’s lips twisted into a confused smile.

He was at a complete and utter loss for words. 

“H- How? Why?” he forced out, his elementary school stutter coming back for a moment. Harley suddenly looked sheepish, stepping back and rubbing one hand across the back of his neck.

“Well, I felt kinda bad about you not being able to go to your school dance, and I knew you were really excited about it, so I asked Tony to help me round up some New York teens and we threw a party here. Most of them are from Midtown, but some are from other schools, just so there wasn’t any suspicion.” He finished his explanation and smiled bashfully, looking so innocent in that moment that Peter could almost believe that he hadn’t been the one to steal all of Tony’s white shirts and dye them hot pink a few days before.

Peter suddenly dove forward and wrapped his arms over Harley’s shoulders, burying his face in his shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispered, grinning ear to ear. “Thank you so much.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!! I am SO sorry that I haven't updated in like, months. I finally got inspiration for this chapter so... here it is! It's probably not very well written, but it's 11 at night and I haven't written in months, so.  
> I just started high school and skipped a grade, so my life is pretty hectic, but I'm doing my best. I'm actually going to homecoming on Saturday! I really wanted to ask Andrew Scribner to the dance(see earlier chapters for me dying over him) but apparently he's not going, so.  
> Katie Coleman, Detective Extraordinaire will be out soon, so be on the lookout for that!! Thank you all for sticking with me through all of this, it means a lot. DM me at @spidersonas on insta if you want to talk, I'd love to be able to talk to some of y'all.  
> Comment if you have any questions about anything(other than social studies, I only know the history that's been turned into musicals:))) I kinda want to try to get this fic to 1000 comments!!  
> See you in the next fic!!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comment usernames to put in the story!!  
> Insta: @/spidersonas  
> Twitter: @/spidersonas  
> Can you tell I like that username??

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [well done gays](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743757) by [thesecretsoftheuniverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesecretsoftheuniverse/pseuds/thesecretsoftheuniverse)




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